By Aeris
I’m full of feels. Just looking at that cover gives me feels. If someone talks to me about this book, a part of me will turn into a puddle of goo.
From the back of the book:
“He was my beginning. And my never-ending.
Ellis
There’s a lot I’ve never told my best friend. The fact that I love him. That I miss him every day he’s gone. That, sometimes I ache for him with a ferocity that leaves me breathless.
Lucky Buchanan tore into my life as a boy, wild and daring, my opposite in every way. He drew me in, stole my heart without trying. He hears me, even though I rarely speak a word. But I always knew this place wouldn’t be enough for my free-spirited friend. I knew he wasn’t mine to keep.
So why, when I finally try to get over him, does he sweep back into town? Why is he upset? Why is there tension between us for the first time in years?
I never saw a future where Lucky could be mine. But now, unless I want to lose my friend, I might not have a choice but to tell the truth. My heart belongs to him. It has from the start.
If only I knew how to hold onto a creature that’s meant to fly.”
I’m a sucker for a good sentence. This book hooked me right away with this line:
“He was my beginning. And my never-ending.”
The book is broken down into periods from childhood until adulthood. Surprisingly, the time jumps aren’t confusing at all. It creates a slower pace perfect for a slow-burn romance junkie like me. I also like how I get to see a glimpse of their life, their mindset, and their feelings at certain time periods.
But the story has a distinct division – before they got together and after. While the story is great from start to finish, I wish the second part was stronger. It has less tension compared to the first. Mostly, it’s just sex in the latter half which for me, is both good and bad. Good because duh, smut, but also, after all the pining, it’s nice to see Ellis and Lucky get together. They didn’t hook up just because or even became FWB like most books I’ve read recently. It’s getting tiring to read something like that so I’m glad I didn’t find it here. Bad because, as I’ve mentioned, less tension, and it shares the limelight with the next big hurdle in the relationship.
I know I made it seem like the latter half is all bad, but there are other things I enjoy too. My gripe in the first half is that, while Lucky expands his world, Ellis seems confined in the fields. His world revolves around work, his mom, and Lucky. I wanted to see Ellis expand his world, even just a little. And the second part gives me that. He finally got other friends, though not given enough screentime, not enough moments, but it’s there.
I cried. A ton. A liter of tears. Ellis. My god Ellis. He’s neurodivergent. He doesn’t say much, but oh my gosh, his words never fail to bring out the waterworks. It can be quite cheesy at times, but I don’t care. His words are carefully selected, and his actions are far louder than his spoken words. That’s why his unsent emails are the best. It is everything. I’ve wondered how Ellis would show them to Lucky. When he did, it was one of the best scenes in the book. I definitely bawled.
Just a teeny tiny bit though, I feel like the thing with his father is just shoved away? At one point, it felt like it was going to be a big deal. In the end, it only becomes a catalyst for something regarding Ellis and Lucky’s relationship.
Another thing I’m happy about is how Dani and Lucky’s friendship progressed. I was worried that Emmy Sanders would pull a Tyler from Unrequited (which I have yet to read properly). Despite their previous arrangement, I’m glad they form a special bond. Not quite as lovers, but almost a close friend, a family.
I also enjoyed the bonus epilogue accessible through Book Funnel or Emmy Sanders’s website. It’s fun, and warm, and really cute. It’s a must-read if you enjoy the main story.
Favorite lines:
But whatever this feeling is he’s chasing, it’s bigger than me, bigger than this place, bigger than anything I know. What I have to offer won’t ever be enough for my free-spirited friend.
I was ten years old when I met Lucky. I knew it then, and I know it now. He’s a firefly. Luminous and wild. He was never meant to be trapped. Not here and not with me. And in a few days, I’ll finally watch him fly away.
I think it was at thirteen that I first felt my heart beat for you. And break, just a little. Because i knew, like that tornado, you’d leave destruction in your path, and I’d be your willing victim. I’d do it again. I love you, my brilliant firefly.
With the moon lending its soft glow through the window, Lucky falls asleep. And I learn what it is to cradle a firefly in my palms.